Musings: Some Kind Of Wonderful

Today’s soundtrack comes from the gorgeous boys in The Maccabees: Something Like Happiness.

I didn’t think it was possible for a song to perfectly describe this feeling, but it really does.

“You just know when you know”

June 2017

Just like humans have evolved to not  remember the feeling of physical pain, I now believe that we’ve also evolved to forget the physical feeling of happiness. Because I didn’t expect to be so happy on Friday night, it was like that kind of joy completely took me by surprise. I had forgotten that a feeling like that was even possible for me.


He’s a hand holder.

Normally the guys that I date get all weird and off-put-ish by that sort of thing. But no, he held my hand and it wasn’t sweaty or awkward at all. It felt lovely. I like smiling that much. The contrast is also just so great for me because recently I’ve so rarely felt anything like this. Instead of feeling stuck in one place, this new thing that I’m experiencing actually makes it seem like there’s somewhere to move forward with this.

And do you know what the most delicious thing about it all is? I want to see him again. I miss him right now. I’ve been on what, two dates with this guy? And yet I’m craving it. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him. Yesterday I started spiralling down just because I hadn’t heard from him in 24 hours. Dangerous, yes. But oh so exciting. It’s a thrill. To expect nothing and then to get everything. I don’t think that there’s a feeling like it.

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I love looking back on these writings when I feel shit, because I think I forget that I am this emotional person. Maybe emotion is my skill. My ability to empathise with everything. It could be the way I win at life, but it could also be my absolute downfall.

Back to the boy.

He’s adorable. Such a great smile. I can’t stop myself from opening my eyes when I kiss him because it’s such a rush to see and feel him grinning into the kiss. Something I know I’m doing right back.

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And I can sleep next to him. I haven’t been able to comfortably sleep next to a boy since my New York Photographer (And he was like a limpet, attaching himself to me, winding his limbs around my body and legs) I guess this new guy is similar. He wants to sleep right on top of me all the time. Spooning is a necessity. I always thought that I wouldn’t be one to be able to put up with that, but I find it so comforting, I actually woke up refreshed despite the many wake up calls from his body in the night.

I just want to be back there in his bed.


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6 Replies to “Musings: Some Kind Of Wonderful”

  1. I love that you do this with music. It’s your first entry I wrote but I am the same way when I listen to a song and I always think about writing entries either inspired by a song if I’m coming up empty or using a song to better explain what I mean or illustrate it in a new way. Also, I’ve never heard of a limpet before but I know exactly what you mean. That struck me and so did your comment about how we can forget the physical feeling of happiness. I’d never thought about it that way, outside of depression, but I agree. For me, that’s what makes it so great because all of those feelings are more exhilarating. On the other hand, I think in those moments I also forget what it’s like to be at my most unhappy, which I had also never thought about before. You sound excited and happy. Good for you :).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are the first person to comment on my picking a soundtrack for my posts and I love that ❤ Music is there with me in every moment of my life so it make sense to keep those memories alive with specific tracks and artists. I'm glad my diary entries can bring up so many thoughts. For me this blog is doubly a way to discuss my life and loves and share it with people, as much as it is there for me to know that other people feel the same way that I do in these situations. Thank you so much for reading xx


  2. “Maybe emotion is my skill.” I love this quote!
    I’m smiling as I’m reading because LOVE is such an amazing feeling and I’m so happy you have chosen to allow yourself to be open to that! I look forward to hearing about this “mystery boy” that makes your heart flutter.

    Liked by 1 person

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